tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-85394019426044568082024-02-07T16:27:24.595-08:00Love, Three Boys and a DadLetters to Grandma from a stay at home DadDavid Brabechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09149038451683671400noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539401942604456808.post-74327423737389195272015-12-04T15:50:00.001-08:002016-01-26T08:09:04.092-08:00<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;"><u>The Waiting Room</u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">Dear
Grandma,<o:p></o:p></span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">10/2/15</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">We
get the truck’s oil changed at the dealership because they sold us “unlimited
oil changes.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which means they get the
truck for a whole day<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>-why most people
probably quit doing it- but since I can bike home from the place, I don’t mind
not having a car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They always provide a
list of things that “need to be done” to the truck. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They give you free oil changes for life, so
their mechanic can scare you into getting some work done.) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“Engine
air filter and cabin filter need to be changed, plus power steering pump is
leaking, you should flush out the radiator too along with power steering
fluid.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Says the voice over the
phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Want us to change those out for
you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“Was
the power steering fluid low?” I ask.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“I’m
not sure, I’ll have him check it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“Thanks,
and can you write down how much those cost?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I say like it’s a fix I need to budget for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I haul three boys into the dealership,
talk about mom working nights, and then seeing us get on our bikes to get home,
they’ll slow down with the scare tactics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As long as they don’t notice the travel stickers from the Grand Canyon,
Orcas Island, and “Get Lost! In Montana!” accumulating on our roof rack
carrier.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">Oliver
is raiding the free drinks fridge in the waiting room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s like a rich guy in a poor man’s bar
handing out free drinks to everybody, including his brothers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The old lady reading a magazine in a chair,
who finds him cute, picks out a lemonade-he gives her another lemonade
insisting “There’s lots!, here, here, HERE!” he finally yells.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“Well
aren’t you sweet.” She says and then lets out a screech as he crams the cold
bottle between her legs so it can’t fall out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“You
play Mine-Craft with that?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam’s
sitting on the arm of a chair filled with a large man holding a lab-top and
seeming a little uneasy with Sam’s open bottle of lemonade swinging around pointing
toward the guy’s screen, Sam’s like the guy who may have had one too many and
now everybody is his friend and he’s going around visiting, which is Sam’s Mode-of-Operiti
for life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“No”
says the guy, but that quick answer doesn’t stop Sam.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“Yeah,
I play a little bit on the weekends, that’s when my dad lets me play…”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He swings the tip of his bottle towards me pointing.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I pretend to not notice Sam or the drops
of juice-which may or may not-have landed on the guy’s keyboard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“I’m
building a castle with an underground maze to store my iron and diamonds.” he
takes another swig.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Oliver, this guy
needs a lemonade, get him a lemonade!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“No,
I’m O.K.….” he says.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“Don’t
worry they’re free!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>yells Sam, as he
starts dispensing his wisdom that free things should always be taken, like
stuff left on the side of the street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oliver
comes over and gives Sam the thumbs up sign and starts a march back to the
fridge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“I
wrote down the prices of the stuff you need”, says Joe the customer service guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like Joe, he remembers everyone’s name and the
many stories I tell him about what the boys are up to. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rings under his eyes attest to his long
hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s always here, except when he
went to Thailand to visit his son for a month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His eyes glaze over when he begins to talk about that trip. When I
schedule maintenance on the truck, I always mention a %10 off coupon I have from
another Honda dealership that came in the mail. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He always says he will match it but never asks
for the coupon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I glance at the cost of
replacing the cabin and engine-air filters, $96 installed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll buy both at Napa tomorrow for a combined
cost of $26.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The guys at Oil Stop will
replace the power steering and radiator fluids for a third of the cost and
install my new engine air filter for free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They point out the power steering pump and I see it is wet but not “a
leak.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“Here’s
your coffee dad.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gabriel hands me a cup
of the single Krupp’s coffee you can make, it’s the same one Grandpa Ted has in
his house and Gabriel knows how to use the machine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It makes really good coffee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see Oliver in the distance going around the
sales room handing out free lemonade bottles to salesman and customers
alike.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Neither are allowed to refuse his
sales pitch, as he only gets louder if they try not to take it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The customers watch as the salesman under
Oliver’s threatening eye opens his bottle before they do, making sure its ok. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oliver leaves a bottle on each of the desks as
he passes, returns to the fridge, replenishes his supply, and drops a few off
with the kids waiting in the “toy area.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2HSq97tRngXEFr4cUqbwILNTgGZ9OLhzuT0cIK2aN_-rdNGzNcR0tN3IBcLPWbqB6rd1zjtd8v9rGyk2tkY3CNK6pIFus4RQwjrRPfsMprG-u8MWMoKjmAosJ6Jab8RHmT2UPvHMo9CM/s1600/IMG_3794.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="392" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2HSq97tRngXEFr4cUqbwILNTgGZ9OLhzuT0cIK2aN_-rdNGzNcR0tN3IBcLPWbqB6rd1zjtd8v9rGyk2tkY3CNK6pIFus4RQwjrRPfsMprG-u8MWMoKjmAosJ6Jab8RHmT2UPvHMo9CM/s400/IMG_3794.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“Thanks,”
the kids say.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“Well,”
I say, tapping the counter with a drummer boy’s beat preparing to begin a
march.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I better get going.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“Papa!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More Lemonade Please!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oliver has emptied the fridge of
lemonade-except the two he has in his hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“Joe’s
on it Oliver, thanks buddy.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“Oliver!”
yells Sam.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What about this guy?” Referring
to the guy with the lab top.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">As
we march out of the waiting room, Oliver tosses a full bottle onto the guys
lap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He looks angry at Oliver, but
Oliver just gives him the look of a “Its on me buddy, no charge”, and high
steps it out the door.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Thank-you
Oliver,” says the lady with the magazine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He exits through the door I have opened for him, but then, like a
performer coming back on stage for an encore, turns around and comes back in. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">“It’s
in the Fridge over there”, as if he is giving the secret to free drinks for
life,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“See?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Right here!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnZOmnpCW7iyIY3MtvNAhKLW9T2ArD3AZ13hXP-vLRiLqmdZebdYnraqFo9p-WHjfx4xhnQydxazt1J0ecHK8fWMsMPGP_MIr034puSAFjHF_EXggK_hQc4NSmFBceIUjW8PS3sKAuth4/s1600/IMG_3790.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnZOmnpCW7iyIY3MtvNAhKLW9T2ArD3AZ13hXP-vLRiLqmdZebdYnraqFo9p-WHjfx4xhnQydxazt1J0ecHK8fWMsMPGP_MIr034puSAFjHF_EXggK_hQc4NSmFBceIUjW8PS3sKAuth4/s320/IMG_3790.jpg" width="137" /></a><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">I
used to stress about having my kids in a place like this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But we were all kids once, and some of us
were as loud and carefree as these boys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t serve up free drinks, but do pass out a little reminder of how, "you gotta live it up baby," even in the waiting room of a service
center taking you for a $50 ride on a 5
minute installation that doesn’t take a screw driver let alone a “Certified
Honda Technician.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">Love,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-large;">David</span><span style="font-family: "american typewriter light";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
David Brabechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09149038451683671400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539401942604456808.post-76596717752498381012015-11-12T06:56:00.000-08:002015-11-22T09:42:19.367-08:00<div style="text-align: center;">
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><u>Bathing in the Metolious</u></span></h2>
</div>
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<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAGpA5bv8Uv3aM-KnpeAxu6nPM9MKwfFzoi_MviQxIPCw0kg0FhcT7tn6oEn0ki4pe1w6Fkb6SCsMqdK4Q865ZXrsxeypApygRv8mUZArNfA4RZnWcBzTKoPQyOUiw247-J2o-roP8bvI/s1600/IMG_4709.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAGpA5bv8Uv3aM-KnpeAxu6nPM9MKwfFzoi_MviQxIPCw0kg0FhcT7tn6oEn0ki4pe1w6Fkb6SCsMqdK4Q865ZXrsxeypApygRv8mUZArNfA4RZnWcBzTKoPQyOUiw247-J2o-roP8bvI/s1600/IMG_4709.jpg" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">Dear
Grandma,<span style="mso-tab-count: 5;"> </span>July
23, 2015</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light";">The Metolious river springs from the ground.</span><span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "american typewriter light";">Not as a trickle but a a river. Its headwaters are a bubbling cauldron and nobody knows where the water comes from. It just pops out.</span><span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "american typewriter light";">I didn’t know rivers could originate like that, I thought they started as small creeks eventually combining to become large enough for someone to call a river. </span><span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: 11pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "american typewriter light";">Since the river is short, it doesn’t have time to warm up in the 90-degree heat so getting the children bathed-especially Oliver, who thinks cleaning is some stupid ritual grown-ups demand as a right of passage, one he will surely discard when he is older-can take some convincing.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6NQ_k_0eUOQM77I0aMaVW6_AVzOGTnfFM87-mUh1wVCcIMwqyKq3IlDg9K416UgOj1X0Hy5dJ3-WOmgA2T_YYo5n_Z2xmicX_kURS7-InK3gcfkYPjJXkh5VDXj5cuQ5PohtIaF6kzFA/s1600/IMG_4687+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6NQ_k_0eUOQM77I0aMaVW6_AVzOGTnfFM87-mUh1wVCcIMwqyKq3IlDg9K416UgOj1X0Hy5dJ3-WOmgA2T_YYo5n_Z2xmicX_kURS7-InK3gcfkYPjJXkh5VDXj5cuQ5PohtIaF6kzFA/s400/IMG_4687+%25281%2529.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">When bathing a 3 year-old covered in
dust and dried blood from periodical falls during the day, it is important not
to let him wade into a cold river. I place him on a large rock while I wade in
and pretend it isn’t cold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“See, watch Papa…” I’m in and out of
the river like water popping out of hot oil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Just like that” I say, rubbing my arms to warm them up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I apply soap and start scrubbing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oliver looks at me suspiciously. There is
something askew here but he can’t put his finger on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People say you are not supposed to lie to
your children but they haven’t seen how dirty a boy gets in a dry, dusty
campground “building trails” from camp to the bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When using a kid’s hoe proves too inefficient
to move pine needles and cones out of the way (like a fork during dinner), he
resorts to using his hands. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I place him
in the sunshine to get good and hot before dunking him in the river.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPn_4GkAizydv5b-hoIEUsaBygYRKhmbnPviFlLYO-PNyS2fFFnYzJZ8jeP-n5TyNeECd6yxWDVG4ddeDLERsH6w_MP9CLjrE7FYu8Jw8RhxMC-almqcrRUJje82wcLx9FvJ2COwDxhAg/s1600/IMG_4708+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPn_4GkAizydv5b-hoIEUsaBygYRKhmbnPviFlLYO-PNyS2fFFnYzJZ8jeP-n5TyNeECd6yxWDVG4ddeDLERsH6w_MP9CLjrE7FYu8Jw8RhxMC-almqcrRUJje82wcLx9FvJ2COwDxhAg/s200/IMG_4708+%25281%2529.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“One, two, three…” I say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He takes a breath and closes his eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But hitting the frigid water they are shocked
open.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lift him back to the sunny bank
and start scrubbing him with soap.</span><br />
<div style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">"That was cold Papa!" He yells. I play the foolish parent who hasn't warmed the bath water properly before putting their child in.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“Really?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say shaking from standing in the water
while scrubbing him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Nooo, its
refreshing.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">He gives me the stink-eye, “What’s
‘refeshing?’” I’m shaking him back and forth from scrubbing so hard.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEc9yi5WOdGt1brsMLhyphenhyphenxUx8DLRNWdUitMRBaiIpWHkXKJu4UxxeERe4wpVFwpP-6SxNBD_Tbpw_WZN4d4qGNruVSfxa1-HcUJNba827f5iaIb5otHxAXGxlAj8olzFks5sqzFCmjoOSo/s1600/IMG_3729.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEc9yi5WOdGt1brsMLhyphenhyphenxUx8DLRNWdUitMRBaiIpWHkXKJu4UxxeERe4wpVFwpP-6SxNBD_Tbpw_WZN4d4qGNruVSfxa1-HcUJNba827f5iaIb5otHxAXGxlAj8olzFks5sqzFCmjoOSo/s320/IMG_3729.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“Ohh, that’s when you are hot and you
get in the water and out again and now you feel great.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">Sam joins us in his swimsuit and not
realizing how cold the water is, jumps in, then scrambles back up the bank
screaming, “That water is freezing!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJhWLPP6tuwXKRgUWyVW4CCeNxUTxh3aODpAdTyDFVnJpBFhRagWgcsLc97jbuVbV_aUU2v1_lCqOjqlDgDKJrNicDqQMtap48vhOdzHRbKEKjE9yI2Zd1fBEk9WnrKfo77yBdR-eRRUc/s1600/IMG_4676.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJhWLPP6tuwXKRgUWyVW4CCeNxUTxh3aODpAdTyDFVnJpBFhRagWgcsLc97jbuVbV_aUU2v1_lCqOjqlDgDKJrNicDqQMtap48vhOdzHRbKEKjE9yI2Zd1fBEk9WnrKfo77yBdR-eRRUc/s400/IMG_4676.jpg" width="251" /></a><span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“Yeah Sam!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oliver says, as if describing something I
need to understand better because I obviously have no idea what I’m talking
about, “That water is FREEEEESSSSSIIIINGGG!”</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbECqfu3VAUPFRSeYgPpqiACwknsb4jwr9cMgArjKNhHXz1Rp0oTnd_ciKhPdc2gQJZ8GjJ-74oeg49moCeziUbIAkDj9j5mF4YeErYJFPE_2jbig4yUsGHcVighuaFpXiPRdenDSqU8g/s1600/IMG_4677.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbECqfu3VAUPFRSeYgPpqiACwknsb4jwr9cMgArjKNhHXz1Rp0oTnd_ciKhPdc2gQJZ8GjJ-74oeg49moCeziUbIAkDj9j5mF4YeErYJFPE_2jbig4yUsGHcVighuaFpXiPRdenDSqU8g/s400/IMG_4677.jpg" width="180" /></a><span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">Before I can tell Sam to keep his
mouth shut, that I can’t have a three year-old walking around a rehearsal
dinner looking like a Feral Child, that Oliver is going back in this river to
rinse off and it would be better if he doesn’t attempt to run away from me
while I do this Sam starts in again.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3vz7iC3gOmYgE0M_TvsEiieSr7QHXncvDRdpM8tPHe1daQxLzfHyYI70gio1EwKGbfFYdROpFFnW7XGTsyj9cfGessSwtSaiGnNpvJ4ZqrUqoRmfyzRAvuGvc2IWi-duPfMxiHijzjIA/s1600/IMG_4678.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3vz7iC3gOmYgE0M_TvsEiieSr7QHXncvDRdpM8tPHe1daQxLzfHyYI70gio1EwKGbfFYdROpFFnW7XGTsyj9cfGessSwtSaiGnNpvJ4ZqrUqoRmfyzRAvuGvc2IWi-duPfMxiHijzjIA/s400/IMG_4678.jpg" width="205" /></a><span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“Papa, that water is so cold you could
FREEZE TO DEATH!” Sam has his big blue eyes wide and Oliver is buying what he’s
selling no matter what I tell him. "Get some soap Sam and start scrubbing," I say not engaging in a debate about freezing to death. Gabriel and Jenny come down the bank, walk into the stream and let out a yelp. Oliver is starting to back away from the bank. I grab him which smears his soap on me, I will have to be rinsed again.</span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“No Papa!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oliver says, “That water will freeze you to
Death!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“Naaa…” I say “Watch this…” and dip
him in and out of the water, place him on the bank and grab the towel laying on
the rock and wrap him up before he can recover from the shock to protest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">Sam is so impressed with my speed, he
tells Oliver he is lucky because he must have had fun to get whipped around
that fast.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“Can you do that to me?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He asks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now Oliver looks at Sam like he is crazy too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His whole family is becoming a bunch of
idiots right before him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“Sure,” I say, happy to have Sam part
of the convincing committee with his volunteering of going back in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jenny and Gabriel are soaping up on the bank.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“Don’t Sam!!!” Oliver yells trying to
save his brother, “it will freeze you to death!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">I grab Sam and whip him in and out of
the water but not as fast because he weighs twice as much as Oliver. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel something in my back yell at me about
the weight like Oliver did about the cold water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You do that again” my back threatens, “and
you won’t be walking…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">Oliver waits for Sam’s conclusion of
going back in but he is quiet trying to get his bearings from going down, up,
and out of very cold water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam has a
shiver go up his back like he’s been hit with a small electrical current.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oliver has seen enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He starts up the bank.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“Wait Oliver!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say so he doesn’t get dirty again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still still have soap on me and he looks
back to see the shock on my face as I emerge from rinsing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It cannot be disguised but I try to smile as
I run to scoop him up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">“Papa, Papa,” he says seriously as I
cradle him in my arms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jenny and Gabriel
scream again in the distance from their rinse, reinforcing what he is about to
say, “that water will freeze you to death.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-large;">It’s going to be interesting getting
him to bath before the wedding tomorrow.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><o:p></o:p><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Love,</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Dave</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">©2015davidbrabec</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "american typewriter light"; font-size: x-small;">All Rights Reserved</span></div>
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David Brabechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09149038451683671400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539401942604456808.post-73092188731923899842015-11-12T06:51:00.000-08:002016-02-16T10:07:45.985-08:00 Finalist for 2015 Big Brick Review Essay Contest<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp2K4UdM4x5FSbmNZN0cVNYSs2FLvjdlPxLkj3lDQ35Phxoo-ZjBOgMcfTU0ZnHOJ-kbH8ZzGWOzBD2gHXSSpoQeyRXSyzSi97E8eWvy-avjgc6wJjZS-h3Je0xMdDV2BBJBdGrUjd3Qk/s1600/IMG_3656.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp2K4UdM4x5FSbmNZN0cVNYSs2FLvjdlPxLkj3lDQ35Phxoo-ZjBOgMcfTU0ZnHOJ-kbH8ZzGWOzBD2gHXSSpoQeyRXSyzSi97E8eWvy-avjgc6wJjZS-h3Je0xMdDV2BBJBdGrUjd3Qk/s1600/IMG_3656.JPG" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">Sunday
is the safest day to go the hardware store, empty and safe enough for three
boys age 9, almost 7, and looks 3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
day before, when I went to check on them building bridges for the sandbox, I
remembered the sump-pump that I had stored under the wheelbarrow.</span><span style="color: #fd0b18; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">An
exceptional toy can be created whenever one incorporates a construction grade
tool, so the next morning we headed to the hardware store to wait for a sales
clerk to ask, “How can I help you?”</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: red; font-family: "braggadocio"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrdre6erYSzsP8xivrYE-3GnUOgUkThlyXxuaUTpWAYYts39IPEtKKeQp4ugRiJgI3sPej6K63U_pzk9imPaXzB1rBHhhA4xb3sAOc6ttz7jUvNZhwJ_wWFUxAJXNJROQyHD63lFsqzIk/s1600/IMG_3650+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; font-family: cambria; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;"><img border="0" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrdre6erYSzsP8xivrYE-3GnUOgUkThlyXxuaUTpWAYYts39IPEtKKeQp4ugRiJgI3sPej6K63U_pzk9imPaXzB1rBHhhA4xb3sAOc6ttz7jUvNZhwJ_wWFUxAJXNJROQyHD63lFsqzIk/s320/IMG_3650+%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">The
clerk, Charlie, by the name on his pocket, was lured outside by the clanging
and loud voices, maybe thinking some teenagers were going to get caught in the
act or he was out to get fresh air from a late night of drinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was older, had disheveled hair and was
given a shift which isn’t very busy, but still nobody wants. It could be his
excuse for not going to church. “I gotta work Sunday mornings,” he might have
said to his mom if she asked, “I’ll try to get it changed”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When he realized it was us, he went
back around the corner. He could have escaped, but Gabriel had caught him
smoking near the rear exit and the sign that said, “DO NOT SMOKE WITHIN 25
FEET.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He stared as Gabriel began. “We need
a hose that’s 24 inches, I mean 24 feet and 1 inch long.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Charlie quickly snuffed out his
cigarette, but not</span><span style="color: red; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">hard,</span><span style="color: #1120ff; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">and
carefully put it into his breast pocket.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What kind of hose?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">Gabriel
digs into a pocket but can’t find the piece we had cut to show the guy exactly
what we wanted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Luckily, I had cut a
piece for each boy so Gabriel instantly digs into Oliver’s pocket.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Oliver protests with the eloquent “AAHHHH!” and
slaps his hands on top of Gabriel’s intruding ones. He probably thinks Gabriel
is going after his fruit snacks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oliver,” I try to placate, “he
needs the hose I put in your pocket.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What’s this for?” yells Sam.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are in the outdoor section of the only
hardware store in town-the</span><span style="color: #fd0b18; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">area out back</span><span style="color: #fd0b18; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">where they keep everything </span><span style="color: #040001; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">contained </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">by a high fence.</span><span style="color: #cb0040; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">Sam
tries to pull a box off the shelf, but its too heavy for him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s a picnic table,” gasps
Charlie, walking toward Sam, in case it starts to fall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This!” yells Gabriel finally
freeing the piece from Oliver’s pocket, who</span><span style="color: #84002b; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">screams,
then stops and picks up the fruit snack bag that also came out and holds it up
to me, “OPIN-PEAZ! PAPA!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We need 24 feet and 1 inch of
this!” I had Gabriel measure the old hose before we left. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">Charlie
looks at it, “We have that inside.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I think, “Oh no, we can’t go inside
yet”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These three in a hardware store
are a re-stockers nightmare, especially if Oliver gets to the plumbing section
and starts rearranging the 90</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande";">°</span></b><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> elbow
pieces, mixing with the 1 1⁄4’ couplings, mixed with the 3⁄4’ reducers, and
some 1 1⁄2’ Y pieces, etc....<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We also need some pipe.” I say.
“Something 4 1/2 inches....”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijlVy8wLeHEI2wXfnhKDSJw3EChFMrNbsuo4e79H4vEH8tCcXb5eBQnDQO-VHLQaDvKvcm5Bf-3i9v9IcG9xb6yiDUUYGJFQexaw52bhDZFkGkcxOUyoOwHKK6mBH54vuvFIVVx2gnpdY/s1600/IMG_3676+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijlVy8wLeHEI2wXfnhKDSJw3EChFMrNbsuo4e79H4vEH8tCcXb5eBQnDQO-VHLQaDvKvcm5Bf-3i9v9IcG9xb6yiDUUYGJFQexaw52bhDZFkGkcxOUyoOwHKK6mBH54vuvFIVVx2gnpdY/s320/IMG_3676+%25281%2529.jpg" width="138" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“OP-IN-PEAZ PAPA!” I reach down,
tear open the snack bag and hand it back to Oliver.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What kind?” Charlie asks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sam, please come over here.” Sam
has now braced himself so he can give one more big pull. “I wanna see what this
is!” he yells. He is short and muscular.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His name is Samuel, but that devolved to Sam as it better fits his
day-to-day relationship with the world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“It’s a picnic table,” says Charlie. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Look at the picture on the
box," Gabriel yells.</span><span style="color: #cb0040; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">Sam’s mission has evolved from
“seeing what it is,” to</span><span style="color: #cb0040; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">"can I get this down?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I redirected Charlie back toward me,
“How much is this pipe?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I try to fathom
explaining the project to Jenny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The 100
ft. of pipe I’m going to have in the backyard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The sump-pump pushing the water uphill so it can return down the newly
purchased pipe, cut lengthwise, so the boys can see their additions floating
down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jenny will stare, in her pajamas,
half awake and squinting in the afternoon sun, before a cup of coffee and
another night shift.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO_xLqmbG3JfnoyX_ONBtBzj6L8G1P82cVkL2kbUjC6YVfrOMLyPTzZXj9nTngKwsJr6D71q6JFoyTH_GWu7Lwc6MvT4WPLzdTg9auaaa-7r3TDSOO6wYR0SD1uTy-g3_hMnmo1a0B1Do/s1600/IMG_3723.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="440" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO_xLqmbG3JfnoyX_ONBtBzj6L8G1P82cVkL2kbUjC6YVfrOMLyPTzZXj9nTngKwsJr6D71q6JFoyTH_GWu7Lwc6MvT4WPLzdTg9auaaa-7r3TDSOO6wYR0SD1uTy-g3_hMnmo1a0B1Do/s640/IMG_3723.jpg" width="640" /></a><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m not sure,” Charlie says.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Let’s go inside to check.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here we go with the bad “back inside” idea,
again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">Charlie
ducks as the sample hose from Oliver’s pocket goes whizzing between us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gabriel found a bamboo stick for holding up
tomato plants, slid the hose on and flung it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sam thinks this is brilliant, “Can I try?” he says climbing off the
shelf and the picnic table box. Luckily, the back parking lot is empty-except
for my car- and they proceed to launch the hoses from one side to the other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look at Oliver to be sure he isn’t choking
on a whole bag of fruit snacks stuffed in his mouth. He’s laughing as they
launch the pipes through the air covering his mouth to keep fruit snacks from
flying out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This too,” I say pointing at the
corrugated plastic drainpipe that fits at the end of gutter spouts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“What’s the difference in the white PVC, the
grey, and the black?”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>During these few moments of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“occupied” children, I drill the guy with
questions, not telling him what I’m doing with the pipes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My time is too precious to bog down in the
details. We now go inside to get the prices, the hose, and some elbows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As Charlie checks his computer for
prices, I fill up a bag of free popcorn and hand it to Oliver.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Can I have some?” The older boys ask. “No,”
I say. “Oliver will share.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ohhhh...” Sam complains, “Why does
he get to hold the bag?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none; text-indent: .5in;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnKHM15gC8jdLbQE8ZmCFLtmKJ3K8CdLn57BXuaIia9y3In055U_XORjZcxzqe9kEbcqrxWFlku-Mpw0JWekr5hQ9NP6SbxPud4gjlofNkbUXDKpRUxJubGIOVwngCW9vsm7xSDZcWU1w/s1600/IMG_3660+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnKHM15gC8jdLbQE8ZmCFLtmKJ3K8CdLn57BXuaIia9y3In055U_XORjZcxzqe9kEbcqrxWFlku-Mpw0JWekr5hQ9NP6SbxPud4gjlofNkbUXDKpRUxJubGIOVwngCW9vsm7xSDZcWU1w/s400/IMG_3660+%25281%2529.jpg" width="356" /></a><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">In
reality, it's because if he is holding the bag his hands can’t rearrange the
shelves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he is holding the bag, you
can keep close tabs on where he is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
he is holding the bag, he will walk up and down the aisles like the King of
Sheba, while glancing back to see if he is being followed and he won’t find the
plumbing section or the neatly arranged nut and bolts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If he is holding the bag, we won’t get
permanently kicked out of our only local hardware store.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“So
he can learn to share, Sam,” I answer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Share, Oliver,” I say in my most
pleasant voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oliver reaches into his
bag and carefully pulls out one kernel for each brother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Dad, can I look at the pocket
knives?” Gabriel got a pocketknife for Christmas (silly grandparents) and is
now (and has been) on the hunt for something bigger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Way bigger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sure” I say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He knows exactly where they are. <span style="background: lime;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="background: white; font-family: "cambria";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">“I’ll
take 20 feet of that, 20 feet of this, a 10 footer here and 15 feet</span><span style="color: #cb0040; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">of that, which I can cut in half long ways.” This may
not be exactly what I need but I don’t have time to come up with a
three-dimensional blueprint; the boys have entered the building, and Charlie is
typing in my orders with the pointer finger of each</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSWzOoHx90to2Y5gUy8hJYfJ-m75nIaOBa9TKZNlQY_8RaRiXRWjLUT_9cY7h5rzhVwAe0pnjWsX8zYLAV4GOq0RQw1e_wHu9XCi-R1LM_0BDdorcqok7-ngUCHh9Eb6bHqgd-A_12c-w/s1600/IMG_3670.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSWzOoHx90to2Y5gUy8hJYfJ-m75nIaOBa9TKZNlQY_8RaRiXRWjLUT_9cY7h5rzhVwAe0pnjWsX8zYLAV4GOq0RQw1e_wHu9XCi-R1LM_0BDdorcqok7-ngUCHh9Eb6bHqgd-A_12c-w/s400/IMG_3670.jpg" width="241" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">“What
are you building?” Charlie finally asks. He has obviously become an ally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look down the aisle</span><span style="color: #cb0040; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">to see Oliver spilling half his bag of popcorn while
grabbing a squirt gun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m thinking, “it
serves the store right for putting it at a two year olds eye level.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The hardware marketing genius-“if
you place the merchandise at the child’s level, the child becomes your advocate
for the sale...”-can pick it up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“A water feature.” I say, “Now I
need some elbows.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">Charlie stares <span style="background: white;">at me </span>still trying to comprehend a water
feature with four different kinds of pipe over 100 feet long and a hose 24 feet
and 1 inch. I snap him out of it, “You guys have 4 inch elbows?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">Charlie
blinks, “Aisle 38.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As I grab what I need, Sam is
putting pipe couplings and elbows on his body. “Look at my armor, Oliver!”
Oliver laughs, drops his bag and slips some over his arms and legs too.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUAd9mkvQtzmMY5B6x3XGb9V-aMoteUOqFuWnSC_2GpwI88_YejNW6gWaRqBoqXsk8DTlLpRBcIZVv5dxPrb2sP_vDBgVuCvfltUhzFB3qHdAyBePYnhz10WSOZkEWNjJaVtZjwt83IaI/s1600/IMG_3666+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUAd9mkvQtzmMY5B6x3XGb9V-aMoteUOqFuWnSC_2GpwI88_YejNW6gWaRqBoqXsk8DTlLpRBcIZVv5dxPrb2sP_vDBgVuCvfltUhzFB3qHdAyBePYnhz10WSOZkEWNjJaVtZjwt83IaI/s640/IMG_3666+%25282%2529.jpg" width="337" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">“Dad!”
Gabriel says from the end of the <span style="background: white;">aisle</span></span><span style="color: #cb0040; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">evidently finding us when Oliver screams at Sam for
trying to put a “helmet” over his head. “I found the pocket knife I want.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Charlie finds us as the helmet is
sent rolling down the aisle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Charlie
kicks it back to Oliver, who has taken up bowling for knights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I gave you 25 feet but wrote 24,” <span style="background: white;">handing me a sheet saying which pipe we are buying</span>.
“Thanks.” I say. We are at the critical juncture where we can be out of here in
5 minutes or leave with the staff chasing us out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivJ_14V6Y6FBC88NNSroCSGfApMTBTP_Qnh_XF2MOKjvMWIcIFd2w2rs4QAuB9yKHUrAWwjFqz-kZ2OB42W3ARkpiKaGpINXbx8QmUv4zvjLN3XaLw0-BTI2QUPKHwabwwsd0yWutNwRQ/s1600/IMG_3668.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivJ_14V6Y6FBC88NNSroCSGfApMTBTP_Qnh_XF2MOKjvMWIcIFd2w2rs4QAuB9yKHUrAWwjFqz-kZ2OB42W3ARkpiKaGpINXbx8QmUv4zvjLN3XaLw0-BTI2QUPKHwabwwsd0yWutNwRQ/s640/IMG_3668.jpg" width="337" /></a><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Boys, take off your armor.” They
stare at me. Oliver bowls again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Charlie
kicks it back to him, smiling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
losing them. We have to get out of here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sam,” I bark, “take these elbows,
hose, and sheet to the cashier. Gabriel, show Sam your pocketknife and take a
picture of it so we can ask mom if you can get it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll meet you at the SUV.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Sam takes his pipes <span style="background: white;">off,</span> throwing them all into one bin. Charlie
pretends not to see; he is aware of the situation and knows there’s a little
collateral damage with every large mission, his boots crunching the popcorn</span><span style="color: #84002b; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> </span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">Oliver spilled when he decided to prepare for battle. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I dis-armor Oliver and head to the
SUV, strapping him into the car seat where I know he can’t “help.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Charlie starts to load the pipe through the
back and out the front passenger window. “You sure you don’t want these cut?”
the pipe is hanging out about 3 feet diagonally from the passenger window. It
bends over the back of Oliver’s car seat. “We only have a couple of blocks to
go” I assure him. Charlie gives me the “Water <span style="background: white;">f</span>eature”
look again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">“You
got twine?” I ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The long pieces get strapped to the
top with the ends tied to the front and back of the SUV. I leave Oliver and pay
the cashier, buying three suckers and sending the two older boys back to <span style="background: white;">trade Oliver’s </span>sucker for the squirt gun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After taking his armor off, Oliver had picked
up the gun again, Charlie had ignored that too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The boys squeeze under the pipes to
fit into their seats.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I duck as I drive
because the pipes bend down in front of the windshield.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Driving home, I turn wide like a semi-truck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any pedestrians will have time to get out of
the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The boys yell, “Whoa” when the pipes
start dancing around from crossing the <span style="background: white;">railroad</span>
tracks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I open the sunroof and tell
Gabriel to stand on the middle console and hold on to the pipes strapped to the
roof.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam wants to help but he is jailed
behind the 15 footers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see a police
cruiser in my side mirror-the only one that I can use right now-but he turns
toward the intersection I just passed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
make another slow turn one block early to get out of the </span><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";">cop’s</span><span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"> view.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A phone is thrust in front of my
face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Here’s the new pocket knife I’m
going to get<span style="background: white;">,</span> Dad!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sam <span style="background: white;">wants</span>
to see the picture and Oliver kicks his seat yelling, “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-pagination: none;">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter";"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I move the phone so I can see where
I’m going and instruct Gabriel to hold on to the pipes with “TWO HANDS.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m about to yell at them again but see a
neighbor staring at our car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I turn my
frown into a gentle “everything-is-under-control” grin. His mouth remains open
as we go by; his hand comes off his rake to wave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYx8BY_UJ9LwngBnDcXV9foRkENlZEl3OdzicVDWJZ-WRLn-oYy9fXICmOuFgoJUI4g0rOgKy4AdI4tNHRzGOgq84n4U6XpKZ0k8B3fNsIcCP9n6FldfGQ4_rd3HP4fMU4Q_-BPLjf_JY/s1600/IMG_3718.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYx8BY_UJ9LwngBnDcXV9foRkENlZEl3OdzicVDWJZ-WRLn-oYy9fXICmOuFgoJUI4g0rOgKy4AdI4tNHRzGOgq84n4U6XpKZ0k8B3fNsIcCP9n6FldfGQ4_rd3HP4fMU4Q_-BPLjf_JY/s1600/IMG_3718.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span></span><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "cambria"; mso-ansi-language: #0400; mso-bidi-font-family: "American Typewriter"; mso-bidi-language: X-NONE; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: #0400;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> ©Copyright2015DavidBrabec</span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "cambria"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;">All Rights Reserved</span></span></div>
<br />
Link to The Big Brick Review and another story they published entitled SPRING<br />
<a href="http://www.bigbrickreview.com/" target="_blank">http://www.bigbrickreview.com/</a>-David Brabechttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09149038451683671400noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8539401942604456808.post-45833379594138324062015-11-04T14:20:00.000-08:002016-01-26T08:20:38.375-08:00Stay at home Dad retells the Boys Plum Sale<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></span>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "\22 times new roman\22 ";"><span style="color: red;">Editor's Note:</span>All photos were taken after the story took place and added by the author</span></span></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0XlsiUAAD9oRT1wCnQfzuV9rcrV0O5QfciHjZgiP7cHkPGteBTsS0yV8UKrmTDCh1uLLwUKiHhG5vt_P20H0R7J3ZjGE36NQQmujGglC3s8gA8fFTyxQj8uMSE0mcqT6yB41g2DeOTrw/s1600/IMG_3594+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-indent: 0.5in;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0XlsiUAAD9oRT1wCnQfzuV9rcrV0O5QfciHjZgiP7cHkPGteBTsS0yV8UKrmTDCh1uLLwUKiHhG5vt_P20H0R7J3ZjGE36NQQmujGglC3s8gA8fFTyxQj8uMSE0mcqT6yB41g2DeOTrw/s1600/IMG_3594+copy.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;"></span></span>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";"><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">SOLD!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;">“Dad we made 30 bucks!” </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">“Great!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say, watching a close game on T.V. The boys are selling plums from
our back yard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The day before, I found
Oliver dangerously clinging to the top of a ladder as his older brothers
climbed around him harvesting with buckets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Our dog, Scout, was passed out from eating the fermented ones rotting on
the ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had seen him lightly
scratching at the ground wondering what he was doing until I picked up his poop
and found the plum pits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDOLK9in2emEOP9GDelzpSgw6CWZdjNGBqbByPdnw2dIJf3FhOQ3Sj9BeNdNS9KQob-qxKGAIpg3BuAUwFCTwVzxRwhn8QkUbxgm7ZtZRCkgG6ykyU9Nuzsp-SNK5gBkDD9OAyk1DPHB0/s1600/IMG_3588.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Stay at home Dad" border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDOLK9in2emEOP9GDelzpSgw6CWZdjNGBqbByPdnw2dIJf3FhOQ3Sj9BeNdNS9KQob-qxKGAIpg3BuAUwFCTwVzxRwhn8QkUbxgm7ZtZRCkgG6ykyU9Nuzsp-SNK5gBkDD9OAyk1DPHB0/s640/IMG_3588.jpg" title="Stay at home Dad" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">©copyright2015DavidBrabec</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;">A time-out is called and I do
some quick math.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;">Thirty dollars?</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;">That’s 120 snack bags sold at 25 cents each.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;">That’s a lot of plums.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;">I then realize it’s
impossible. I run outside to a little blue table on the driveway with a “SALE”
sign taped to it. There are a couple of stools, a box filled with
quarters, and dollar bills blowing away. The neighbor kids have come over
to “help” and hold cardboard signs in the middle of the street. The sign
may say “Sale” but might as well be “Stop” because they’re like a check station
at the border, halting all the passing cars. In the garage, the door to
the mini-fridge is ajar.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;">I walk over to
close it.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;">My soda, juice spritzers, and
beer have been replaced with a snack bag of plums.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;">I look out to the street, the kids are
caffeinated up on Starbucks Refreshers, pointing, yelling, and giving out
deals, “You buy three, we’ll give you a THIRD for free!” Business is
brisk and I feel like a restaurant owner who borrowed money from the mob.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;">The only wares left on the table are the plums,
neatly displayed in rows. The only customer for those is the dog, who
gets them from the little neighbor girl, Hazel.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">“Sam!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wave my middle child over. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is 7.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">“Yeah?” he says annoyed by
the interruption.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">“Where are the drinks from
the fridge?” I look down the block and see a pack of skaters on the corner;
some are doing tricks in the street but most sit drinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They see me talking to Sam and get on their
boards to ride off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There went my beer.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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</div>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;">“Oh, Oliver got that out…” He’s
blaming the three year old.</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXrfSvTNNACun0h7LR4twJE3GAuEFUCcqoyKMvx6NDGuwvlzRNmdslzhBPVPXPl-qTfpDA00vEEUF-pNRtq_x8lnUdUFDlntyaEdqbxOTKgf610svCKNqALCevgNbeXu0gJat8p8Ah3Jc/s1600/IMG_3599.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXrfSvTNNACun0h7LR4twJE3GAuEFUCcqoyKMvx6NDGuwvlzRNmdslzhBPVPXPl-qTfpDA00vEEUF-pNRtq_x8lnUdUFDlntyaEdqbxOTKgf610svCKNqALCevgNbeXu0gJat8p8Ah3Jc/s1600/IMG_3599.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">I’m trying to keep my cool,
not make a scene, because my neighbors are literally parked in the middle of
the street. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_GsdlER9-ChGB-3-DpRVnDiLzSXgmAHM5zUb5CrmMjBJEk4KoAIGakJeSxzdhNOEJi8njMQTMdLV1buvuphMXgh6MEkBFyNzaM4cvAdWDdNOU93TOfC99E7v7CJqh90EfDwdeOBoQXvk/s1600/IMG_3627.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_GsdlER9-ChGB-3-DpRVnDiLzSXgmAHM5zUb5CrmMjBJEk4KoAIGakJeSxzdhNOEJi8njMQTMdLV1buvuphMXgh6MEkBFyNzaM4cvAdWDdNOU93TOfC99E7v7CJqh90EfDwdeOBoQXvk/s640/IMG_3627.jpg" width="251" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">©Copyright2015DavidBrabec</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">Scout burps and rolls on his
back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hazel puts a plum near his mouth
and says, “Sit!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He just wags his tail,
“Good Dog” she says and feeds it to him anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">Oliver goes by dragging my
fishing poles, he’s yelling for someone to help him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">Gabriel has remnants of
whatever was in the garage fridge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is
selling it like a cigarette girl walking between the blocked cars.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">“Cold Drinks!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>25 Cents!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>One of the neighbor kids has two fingers in the air, apparently with an
order for the Chevy around the corner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">“Dad?” yells Gabriel, “You
have change for a twenty?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";">I stare at my tool bench,
where’s my drill?</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman";"></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGqHBGPPVRfbVGsdOgxIlUb0koTPoyTtLEqVEaBPyECpTAP0DmaenJnD0wivljF3UXIFsvh_DZadQQXoGcgnmnptGB-ODXu2gX0ll-m_n92QiEhKsE3fBH4SBG90AWcAanJeKpFskxqCI/s1600/IMG_3635.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="stay at home dad" border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGqHBGPPVRfbVGsdOgxIlUb0koTPoyTtLEqVEaBPyECpTAP0DmaenJnD0wivljF3UXIFsvh_DZadQQXoGcgnmnptGB-ODXu2gX0ll-m_n92QiEhKsE3fBH4SBG90AWcAanJeKpFskxqCI/s320/IMG_3635.jpg" title="stay at home dad" width="249" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman"; text-indent: 0.5in;">A funny link-</span><a href="http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/" style="font-family: 'times new roman'; text-indent: 0.5in;" target="_blank">Hyperbole and a Half is a Blog to check out.</a></div>
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